


OQ Angst Fest

by ourheroregina



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-25 07:50:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourheroregina/pseuds/ourheroregina
Summary: My entries for OQ August Angst Fest 2018





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1. Prompts:  
>  2\. “Leave me alone”  
> 7\. “I never meant to hurt you.”  
> 15\. “You knew, and you did it anyway,”  
> 22\. “I trusted you”   
> 27\. “I have every right to be angry”  
> 29\. “I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it”

Robin of Locksley is driving Regina out of her mind.

From the very first moment he laid his eyes on her she knew that he was up to no good. Her suspicions were confirmed a few days later, when she noticed his tattoo and realized the thief was the man with a lion tattoo, her soulmate.

That day Regina Mills promised herself she would keep her distance from this awfully handsome man.

However, Robin didn’t let her.

He would walk up to her at the most inconvenient time and would tease and embarrass her in a court room and at every other opportunity he got. He liked to get on her nerves.

He liked to prank her even more. He would take her horse on a walk when she needed it, he would tell her that Snow and Charming are waiting her in a courtroom and she would come there and find it empty. He would discretely pour salt into her tea instead of sugar, or would pour too much sugar in it just to annoy her.

It was a very silly game that he was playing, a silly and annoying one that drove Regina out of her mind.

Today, she’s lost her patience. When she comes into the kitchen in the morning and takes her cup of coffee that Granny had prepared for her, she spots Robin sitting in the corner of the kitchen, eating left-overs from yesterday’s dinner. He isn’t looking at her, but he’s definitely smirking, and Regina glares at him before bringing the cup to her lips.

She doesn’t expect anything to be wrong.

But it is, oh it is.

Her coffee is sour.

She can’t help but let out a growl – that idiot should have known better than annoy her before her morning coffee.

Before she knows it a fireball is formed in her palm and the smirk on the thief’s lips almost makes her throw it right into his face. However, just before she can do it an idea hit her.

She lets the cup drop from her hands, shatters of porcelain scattering across the floor as she bends over, her hand coming to rest on her lower belly, a quiet groan leaving her parted lips.

The smirk disappears from Robin’s face almost immediately, his brow furrowing, and then moments later he’s standing beside her, his arm resting on her shoulder, asking if she’s alright.

Regina has to fight the urge to strangle him now that he’s so close.

“I’m fine,” Regina tells him, gritting her teeth to make her performance even more believable.

“You need to sit down,” Robin says, wrapping his arm around Regina, supporting her, as he slowly walks her to the table while she continues to inhale deeply through her nose and exhale through her mouth as if trying to fight the sick feeling in her stomach.

Once she’s sitting on the chair, Robin leaves her side and rushes to the bucket of cool water and returns with a full cup. Regina takes it from Robin with shaking hands and empties it in a few deep gulps.

“What’s wrong?” Robin asks when Regina finally straightens in her seat, brushing a few strands of hair away from her forehead.

She glances to the door to make sure that they’re really alone and tells him in a quiet voice, “You have to stop pranking me, thief.” Robin’s face breaks into a smile but it falls immediately when Regina adds, “I’m pregnant.”

Robin’s eyes widen in shock, his jaw dropping open. The hand that’s been resting on her back falls away, and Regina has to fight the urge to smile.

“I can’t get sick, you know. The last time you poured a bucket of cold water all over me, I got a fever.” She reminds him, but Robin doesn’t react to her words, he just continues to stare at her in shock. “I have a sad history with pregnancies and I wouldn’t want to lose this one, too.”

Regina looks away from him then, faking sadness – otherwise she would start laughing because his expression is comical.

  “You’re pregnant?” He asks, his voice full of disbelief.

“Yes, I’m two months along,” she lies, and Robin’s eyes widen even more (how is it even possible?).

That night, almost two months ago, was a huge mistake, but it was Henry’s birthday and she was devastated. Robin found her wandering in the forest late that night, and there was no sass in his voice as he asked her if she was alright. She doesn’t know what came over her then, perhaps she longed for love, acceptance or just wanted to forget her heartbreak for a moment, and she kissed him right on the lips.

Even though Robin was acting like a complete idiot, she knew that deep down he wasn’t one, she knew that he was a good man, and that knowledge made her throw caution to the wind because she wrapped her arms around his neck in order to pull him closer and opened her mouth, deepening the kiss.

It didn’t take long until she was being pushed against the tree, his hands squeezing her hips as she moaned into his mouth, forgetting the world around herself completely.

“But… you said you couldn’t-“ Robin stutters out, still staring at her with wide eyes.

Regina feels victorious – that’s the reaction she’s wanted to get.

She knew he would freak out. Her plan is to torture him for a few days, and then finally she’ll tell him that he can calm down – the Evil Queen is not carrying his child, that it was all just a prank, and that he never ever try to make fun of her again.

“I shouldn’t be pregnant,” Regina nods her head, “But I am right now. With your child.”

 “Oh Gods,” it’s all he manages to say as he continues to stare at her face.

It seems like a few hours pass until finally his piercing gaze falls down away from her eyes to her flat stomach. He clearly wants to say something because he opens his mouth but then closes it, repeating the action a few times.

And then suddenly he’s taking a step closer to her and wrapping his arms around her tightly. Regina lets out a surprised gasp when he lifts her from the ground and spins around, murmuring something into her hair. When he puts her down on the ground and pulls away a bit, his eyes are teary, a huge smile on his face.

This time it is Regina’s eyes that widen in shock.

Is he actually… happy?

“A child?” he asks, his voice full of disbelief. A few tears roll down his cheek as he rests his palm on her belly and looks at her with a huge watery smile, “Regina, we are having a child,” he tells her, before leaning over and kissing her on the lips.

Regina stands there still, not being able to return his kiss.

Who could be happy when the Evil Queen is expecting their baby? The child would probably be cursed, sick or dark and twisted and would end up killing people and ruining lives for its own pleasure, just like its mother.

Robin pulls away from her a bit before letting out a laugh full of happiness and then he wraps his arms around her again, pulling her into a tight hug and whispering that she’s just made him the happiest man in all realms.

Regina swallows hard.

What has she done?

(…)

Robin was ecstatic about the baby who didn’t exist.

Regina had to work really hard to convince him not to tell anyone, not even his closest friend, about the pregnancy. He only agreed when she told him a made-up story about how she lost all of King’s children before they were even born (she hopes that he’ll never ever tell about this to Snow White, otherwise, the younger woman could have told Robin that Regina has never been pregnant before).

With each passing day, Robin’s excitement only grew while Regina felt like suffocating. When she made this rushed plan to prank Robin, she thought he would freak out, ask her to get rid of the baby or something like that, she was expecting anything but happiness.

And he was beyond happy.

Robin brought her breakfast every morning, waking her up with a sweet kiss on the lips. She tried to convince him that this child is not making them a couple, they would not even be together after it’s born, but Robin didn’t listen to anything. It seemed he was enchanted by the idea of having a baby.

He spent hours walking along with her in the gardens and Regina wanted to tell him that there was no baby, that it was all a prank but every time she would open her mouth, nothing came out. She would stare at him wordlessly, cursing herself for being so stupid.

From the very beginning Regina knew that even though Robin tried to pretend to be careless, deep down he felt that attraction between them. Regina knew that there were feelings hidden under all of these pranks. How she could be so stupid and decide that lying about a child was a good payback is beyond her.

Regina was afraid to think just how hurt Robin will be because of this stupid prank, but she had to end it as soon as possible (she should have told him it was a lie the moment she saw how happy he was about the baby).

So when Robin walks into her chambers this morning, Regina is already sitting at the edge of her bed, her fingers moving relentlessly against her skirts, giving away that she’s anxious.

Robin smiles at her sweetly and puts a trait of food on the nightstand. He turns to look at her with a cup of tea in his hands, but Regina shakes her head.

Swallowing hard, she tells him, “We need to talk.”

Robin furrows his brow in confusion, but he puts the cup down and looks back at her. He smiles at her then, encouraging her to start.

Regina shifts uneasily in her place, feeling sick, and finally says, “I’m not pregnant.”

The way Robin’s face falls makes Regina swallow hard. It seems that Robin’s stopped breathing as he continues to look at her, not even blinking his eyes.

How could she ever think that it was funny?

She’s sick, the true Evil Queen.

Still staring at her Robin manages to ask, “What?”

Collecting all of her courage, Regina forces herself to look straight into his eyes as she finally tells him the truth.

“I have never been pregnant,” she admits, “You were driving me mad with your stupid pranks and I… wanted it to stop, so I made up the pregnancy story. I thought you would freak out!”

 “Are you kidding me?”

“No,” she shakes her head, ashamed. “Believe me, I’m so sorry. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. You kept pulling pranks on me and I was so fed up, I thought I would do something in return.”

“And you decided that laying to me about our non-existent child would be a good way to get your revenge on me.”

“No! I didn’t mean to hurt you!” she tells him sincerely. “I thought that you would freak out! I thought that you wouldn’t want that child, that you hated me and that… you would be so relieved that I’m not actually pregnant that you would stop your stupid pranks.”

Robin opens his mouth to say something, but instead shakes his head and just stares at her. His jaw is tensed, his deep blue eyes are piercing right through her dark soul, and Regina cannot help it but look away.

She wants to disappear. She really does. And she could do it easily with one simple wave of her hand.

However, Robin is the only person who hasn’t been afraid of her since the moment she stepped into her castle. He’s a good man and father, and he didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.

She has to pay for what she’s done so she continues to sit beside him.

Shifting uncomfortably, she tells him, **“I never meant to hurt you.** All I wanted to do was prank you.”

Robin lets out a shuddering breath and then gets up from the bed, starts pacing back and forth, his hands fisted in his head. Regina swallows hard as she watches him, and for the umpteenth time that day she asks herself what the hell she was thinking when she decided to hurt him like that.

“I think you did want to hurt me,” Robin finally says, turning to look at her.

 “Robin, please,” Regina stands up as well and takes a step closer to him. **“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it!”**

“Oh, no?” he lets out a humorless laugh. “So why didn’t you tell me right then that it was a prank? You saw how excited I was about this baby **, you knew** this prank was cruel **, and you did it anyway** ,“ his voice trails off after that, and Regina has to look down ashamed. She should have told him weeks ago that it was all just a prank, he is right. “ **I have every right to be angry** , your Majesty.” He then states in an angry tone.

“Robin-“ she trails off trying to touch his hand but he flinches away from her.

 “ **I trusted you!”** he shouts, taking a step closer to her, his anger radiating off of him in waves. “I stayed in your bloody castle to protect your ass, all I wanted to do was see you smile, and in return you’re doing this to me!” As he takes another step closer, Regina cannot help herself and take one back. She doesn’t think he’ll hurt her, but she wouldn’t want to risk and find out.

Regina’s heart stops beating as he stares straight into her eyes and she can see the hatred in his. She doesn’t look down, no matter how much she wants to. She wants him to let all of his anger out on her and then forgive it all.

Instead of saying another word, Robin turns away from her, shaking his head, and makes his way towards the door.

Regina has promised herself to never run after a man, but Robin is worth it and she finds herself turning around and trying to reach for his hand.

Just before her fingers can wrap around his wrist, he turns around and growls out, “ **Leave me alone.”**

“ **I never meant to hurt you** , Robin. I’m so sorry,” she says but he has already walked out of her chambers, slamming the door shut behind himself.

As Regina falls down to the floor with tears in her eyes, she’s reminded once again that she was born to ruin people’s lives and she’ll never be able to change, no matter how hard she tries.


	2. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OQ Angst Fest - Day 2. Robin comes back from the dead. Regina is not happy.   
> Prompts:   
> 4\. “I don’t need you anymore”  
> 10\. “What’s the point anymore?”  
> 31\. “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore”  
> 41\. “You need to rest, I’ll be alright here”  
> 44\. “I’m not going anywhere”

A knock on the door snaps Regina out of her restless nap, forcing her eyes to open. She’s feeling awful today – perhaps it would have been better to just stay at home for the day but she was not going to give up so soon, so here she is, in her office, sleeping in her uncomfortable chair, praying that this headache will go away.

Straightening up in her chair, she runs her hands through her hair to put it under control, then quickly glances at the small mirror to make sure that the bags under her eyes are still covered by powder. She forces her features to relax, and finally inhaling deeply she tells to whoever it is on the other side of the door to come in.

The door is opened instantly and Henry walks in. Her son seems extremely happy, and a smile spreads across Regina’s face at the sight as she wonders whether it was Violet who’s finally forgiven him for a stupid mistake and texted him back.

“Hi, mom,” Henry says as he finally walks up to her desk. He stops for a moment and looks at her face, and Regina shifts uneasily under his piercing gaze – the last thing she needs right now is him to notice that she’s not fine. However, he sighs and doesn’t mention anything about her appearance, instead asks, “Are you busy?”

Regina glances down at the pile of papers in front of her which she hasn’t touched since the moment she came into the office. Truth be told, she’s very busy, she has no time to spare with all the projects, but she’s not going to waste any minute of her life that she still has left, so she shakes her head, insisting that she’s not busy at all.

“Cool,” Henry’s smile only widens. “I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” Regina asks, raising an eyebrow at him in confusion.

“Yes,” Henry nods his head, still grinning from ear to ear. “Now, close your eyes and wait,” he tells her and Regina looks at him for a moment, but then finally sighs and closes her eyes, and as soon as darkness surround her, she hears Henry rushing out of the office.

With eyes still closed, Regina crosses her arms over her chest. She doesn’t really like surprises, but Henry seemed so excited, and she didn’t have a heart to turn down his excitement.

She hears steps, and there is someone else with Henry now.  She has to struggle really hard to not open her eyes and peek. Anxiously, she shifts on the chair, straightening her back.

“You can open your eyes now,” Henry says and Regina’s eyes are opened immediately.

Her heart stops beating, jaw dropping open in surprise as she finally looks at the person standing beside Henry. She blinks her eyes a few times not even breathing but the image of Robin Hood doesn’t vanish.

Robin is still standing in front of her, dressed in dark brown pants and a green t-shirt that doesn’t look his style at all, but he’s alive and his chest is moving with every breath he takes, his eyes blinking away his tears as he looks at Regina, a watery smile formed on his lips.

It’s really him.

“Surprise!” Henry’s cheerful voice snaps her out of her shock and she turns to look at him, furrowing her brow. “Robin is back and alive!” The boy exclaims and all Regina can do now is shake her head, pressing her lips together into a thin line as her heart finally, finally starts to beat again.

The headache only becomes worce, and for a moment her vision becomes blurred, but she forces herself to stand up anyway. The movement makes her grit her teeth in pain but she doesn’t let it consume her, she forces herself to continue moving, to take a step closer to Robin.

There’s a lump in her throat but it has nothing to do with happiness.

Her Soulmate is back. Robin Hood, the man with a lion tattoo, her lover is back, standing in front of her, warm and breathing and smiling, but Regina feels her heart breaking from indescribable pain.

“Regina,” Robin says in his sweet and warm voice that is full of love. It has Regina’s eyes filling up with tears and no matter how hard she tries to keep them at bay they start rolling down her cheeks.

Regina’s reaction surprises Robin a lot, but he thinks it’s shock, or happiness, or both that have her crying, so he smiles at her in that comforting way and stretches his arm to wrap around her and pull her into a hug, but she shakes her head, and before he can touch her, she takes a step back.

“Regina,” Robin says her name again, “It’s really me. I’m here. _We’re_ here now. And this is true.”

This phrase, the one he said a few years ago when Zelena didn’t have his child and he wasn’t dead, is what finally breaks Regina’s walls down. Tears continue to fall down her cheeks at a faster pace, and she just cannot hold the sobs anymore. Her mouth finally opens in a painful cry as she kneels down to the floor.

 “Mom?”

“Regina?”

Both Henry and Robin sound confused, and before she knows it they’re beside her on the floor, touching her, pulling her into their arms and she doesn’t know if it’s Henry who holds her or is it Robin who kisses on top of her head, all she knows is that her life has just crashed down into pieces.

She has to collect all of her power and strength to stop the breakdown. When she finally succeeds, she wipes the tears away from her cheeks and presses her lips into a thin line, pushes herself away from them and from the floor, stands up on shaky legs, holding the edge of her desk for support.

 “Regina, what’s happening?” Robin asks, his voice full of worry, as he stands up with her.

His gaze is piercing right through her but she doesn’t concentrate on his eyes, instead she looks away and shrugs her shoulders.

“ **I don’t need you anymore,”** she states and then walks away from very confused Robin and Henry and out of the office as fast as she can.

 (…)

Regina does everything in her power to avoid Robin (Henry’s told him that she hasn’t talked with him too). Robin just came back from the dead, and he loves her, he really does, but her walls are built high all around her and he decides to focus on something and someone else until she snaps out of this… phase.

So the next day Robin takes a magic bean from Emma and travels back to Enchanted Forest to see Roland. The boy doesn’t believe it at first, he stares at Robin as if he is a ghost until finally he gives in and rushes into Robin’s arms, crying uncontrollably along with his father.

He returns a few days later with his men and Roland, and they take their time to build a new camp, to catch up, to celebrate his return.

Robin doesn’t push Regina. When she doesn’t try to find him and Henry tells him that she’s still not herself, Robin gives her more time. He catches up with the town’s life, tastes all of Granny’s new dishes, chats with everyone who’s willing.

However, two weeks have passed and Henry finally admits that he’s getting really worried about his mom. She’s never been so guarded, Henry tells him, not even after his death. She has never shut Henry out of her life, and he worries that something is actually not okay with her.

So they make a plan and Robin finally corners her.

With a little bit of help from Henry he breaks into her office, steals a spare key and gives it to Henry who hides in the hallway while Robin waits for Regina in her office.

Regina comes on time, 08:15 A.M. as always. However as soon as she walks into the room and finds Robin sitting on her couch, her eyes widen in shock and she turns around to leave immediately but Henry has already closed the door behind her and now is locking it.

She groans and knocks on the door a few times, but Henry doesn’t reply to her, so she finally sighs and turns to face Robin. He looks at her, studies her face and body language, and for a moment he thinks that she’ll disappear in a cloud of purple smoke.

Instead of using magic and escaping, Regina glares at Robin and sighs in desperation before making her way to the desk.

Robin follows every move she makes, and he doesn’t miss the way she clenches her teeth, her brow furrowing as she sits down. However, she doesn’t acknowledge his confused stare, doesn’t even glance in his direction; she just opens a file on her desk, takes a pen and start writing something down.

For a moment, Robin just sits on the couch and stares at her. She’s as beautiful as ever, she hasn’t aged at all, her skin is still smooth and wonderful, and he quickly gets lost in his thoughts when he lets himself think about kissing her.

Shaking his head to himself, he stands up and walks to her desk. Regina doesn’t bother to look at him, so Robin turns her chair away from the desk until she’s facing him.

She lets out an angry sound, but it doesn’t bother Robin.

“What is happening?” Robin asks when their eyes meet. She stares at him with such force, if looks could kill he would be dead again, but he doesn’t back off. He looks right back at her, not moving his gaze.

Something in her changes, all of a sudden she looks so tired, her eyes are lifeless, there are dark circles underneath them, and she’s tried to cover them with makeup, but it’s still visible if you look closely.

Exhaling, Regina turns her face away from him, but he doesn’t let her look away. His warm hand touches her cheek and slowly turns her face back to his until they’re staring into each other’s eyes again.

“What happened to you?” he asks, not managing to hide worry in his voice. He has talked with many people from this town including Henry and Emma but no one mentioned that something bad happened to Regina, and something clearly did happen. “Did someone hurt you? Did I do something wrong? Regina, I beg of you, tell me what is wrong.”

She doesn’t say anything, just continues to stare at him, her gaze blank.

“I don’t recognize you,” he adds, and now the worry in his voice has turned into desperation. “It’s been years since I died and I know that you have every right to move on, and that you might not be happy to see me. If it’s the case, if there’s someone else, tell me and I’ll leave you alone. But please, talk to me.”

All of a sudden, her beautiful dark eyes shine with tears as she finally speaks, her voice breaking, “Why did you come back?”

“Henry rewrote our story and brought me back,” he explains, not fully understanding her question. Cautiously, he stretches his hand out to touch her, and when she doesn’t flinch away from him, he laces their fingers together. “You’re clearly not happy to see me.”

“You’re damn right!” she replies, her voice laced with anger, but there’s a tear rolling down her cheeks.

“Why?” he asks, confused.

Regina just shakes her head and pulls her hand away from him.

Robin stares at her for a moment, gauging her until he finally sighs and tells her, “Henry is not going to unlock this door until we talk so I suggest you start talking if you want to get rid of me.” Regina looks up from her hands, and narrows her eyes at Robin in anger. “ **It’s like I don’t even know you anymore**! Explain to me what happened to you,” he asks, ignoring her piercing gaze.

“I could use magic and escape, you know,” she says, completely changing the subject.

“I think something is wrong with you magic, because if you actually were able to use it, you wouldn’t be here right now.” He points out and Regina sighs, lets her head fall down.

For a few moments they are surrounded by silence until Regina inhales shakily, making Robin look up at her face.

“I’m dying,” she admits.

 “What?”

Swallowing hard, she angrily wipes a single tear away from her cheek and explains, “I have cancer, and it’s everywhere.”

“What?”

“It’s incurable,” she continues, and good, because Robin has no idea what to say. “I’m dying, Robin. The doctors said I have three months at most and my time is running out, I have to fight every day to get out of bed. My magic is gone now. And soon I’m going to be done too.”

 “Are you getting any treatment?” Robin asks, stupidly.

“No.” she shakes her head, another tear rolling down her cheek. “It’s too late for that.”

 “Regina, I-“

But she doesn’t let him speak.

“And you, idiot, you came back!” she interrupts him, angrily wiping the tears away from her cheeks. Her whole body tenses from anger as she continues, her voice getting a bit louder, “You were the only reason that kept me going. You were waiting me in there, in hell or in heaven, or wherever, and I was not afraid to die because I knew that finally we would be together.”

Robin’s mouth opens in surprise as he stares at her. So that’s what it all is about.

He tries to say something but nothing comes out and he just opens and closes his mouth uselessly for a few times. His own eyes fill with tears as he realizes that he’s going to lose her, he’s actually going to lose her and he just got her back.

 “Regina,” he trails off, looking at her with teary eyes, still speechless.

“Please, leave me alone,” she asks, pushing his hands away from her.

“Regina, please,” he asks, not letting her turn away from him. “I can’t change anything right now, and I’m so sorry, but please, let me be with you. Don’t shut me out!” he begs her and she just shakes her head sadly.

**“What the point anymore?”** she asks. “I have so little time left.”

“I love you and **I’m not going anywhere.”** He insists and he takes her hand in his until she finally looks at him again, her teary eyes meeting his.

All of a sudden, she throws herself into his embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck as her body starts shaking. Robin wraps his arms around her and she buries her face into his neck, her wet cheeks touching his t-shirt and it only makes him tighten his hold on her, whispering nothings into her ear as tears start rolling down his own cheeks.  

He doesn’t know how long it takes until she finally collapses into his arms in exhaustion, her cries no longer loud, only quiet sniffles now. Robin slowly stands up, bringing Regina with himself and she groans and protests, and legs shaking underneath her, so he takes her into his arms and carries her to the couch.

“ **You need to rest** ,” he tells her when she’s laying on a couch with a thin blanket over her still shaking body. It looks like Regina wants to protest but her eyelids drop closed and she just nods her head tiredly **. “I’ll be right here.** I promise,” he assures her, taking her small hand in his and kissing it.

I’ll be right here, Robin thinks as a tear rolls down his cheek, until the day you have to go.

 


	3. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: After finding out that Regina killed Marian, and dealing with Zelena having Robin's child Regina and Robin finally decide to divorce.  
> Prompts:   
> 3\. “I thought you loved me.”  
> 8\. “I don’t want to hear it anymore.”  
> 12\. We can’t keep this up forever.”  
> 24\. “I don’t want to lose you too”  
> 30\. “You want a divorce?”  
> 33\. “You made the choice, deal with it.”  
> 42\. “It’s not your fault  
> 50\. “I said I love you, and I meant it.”

 

Regina’s sitting in the kitchen with a cup of still steaming coffee right in front of her, her palms wrapped securely around it for warmth (or maybe for comfort). Robin is sitting right in front of her, but his cup is untouched, his hands are rested on the table, fingers moving relentlessly against the surface.

When their eyes finally meet and lock, Regina inhales and states, **“We can’t keep this up forever.”**

They’ve been sitting here for a long while now, surrounded by complete silence. Truth be told, their life has been surrounded by this quietness for months now. They didn’t have topics to talk to, their bedroom was always half empty because Regina would sleep in her work room or in a spare bedroom while other night Robin would wander to the forest in the evening and not come back for the night.

Things have changed between them.  A lot.

Only a year ago they’ve finally got married. It was a rushed decision, one encouraged by Robin being stabbed with a sword that nearly took his life. The very same evening Regina had dragged him into the village where they were married by the Camelot’s minister.

There were many obstacles between them back then, many unspoken things and too many problems that needed to be solved immediately, but Regina didn’t care about any of that, and neither did Robin.

However, it took only a few months into their marriage and things got… difficult. The miscommunication was always there because every time one of them would find the courage and bring the painful topic up, the other would shut it down immediately.

For a long while they succeeded in pretending that they can live happily ever after with all of those things hanging over them.

Until one day they stopped talking with each other.

 “I agree,” Robin nods his head to Regina’s statement.

Regina blinks her eyes for a few times, bringing herself back to the painful reality.

“So, **you want a divorce?”** Regina asks, looking straight into his eyes.

She should feel something, heartache or anger – after all, the love of her life is leaving her-  but she doesn’t. Instead, she feels calm and collected. She’s had her time to think things over already, she made up her mind and realized that pixie dust does lie. They might be soulmates, but he’s not her happy ending and she’ll be better off without him.

“I do, yes.” He admits, nodding his head again. His voice is firm, and he’s sitting confidently in front of her, but it hurts him, Regina knows that deep down, he feels something and it’s most definitely not a relief.

Because even after divorcing her, the dark cloud that was brought by their connection will now forever hang over him. Leaving her will not solve all of his problems, it will not quiet his demons. He will not be free.

“Do you want Roland to move out instantly?” Regina asks, momentary glancing towards the stairs where the boy is sleeping. She cannot even imagine how shocked Roland will be that he has to move out so quickly, and she doesn’t want to think how much damage this separation will cause to his cheerful personality.

At least Henry already knows that something is wrong between Robin and Regina. He has already suggested a divorce if they are so miserable in each other’s company.

At least Henry will not be hurt that much.

 “The faster, the better,” Robin tells her. “He’ll be hurt by this situation, but the more we’re stretching time, the harder it will be.”

“Will I be able to see him?” she asks, cannot help it. Even though she and Robin have nothing in common anymore, she loves Roland, loves him like her own child and she would love nothing more than to continue her relationship with him.

“I think it’s best if we just… cut all ties with one another,” Robin’s words surprise Regina, make her eyes turn wider. “I think it’s for the better that he doesn’t communicate with the woman who killed his mother. After all, one day he’ll find out about what you did and I think he would hate me for letting him be near you.”

It stings. More than it should. 

She tries to keep the tears at bay. She’s not going to break down in front of a man who clearly hasn’t forgiven her for what she did decades ago. She’s not going to break down in front of him now that she knows that he hates her.

This time, her heart breaks inside her chest but she doesn’t let herself cry.

“ **I thought you loved me.”** Regina cannot help but say it, her voice shaking. She hates herself for it, hates that it still affects her this much.

“I do,” he confirms. “ **I said I love you, and I meant it,** Regina, every single time. But I cannot ignore the fact that you killed my wife, that you took a mother from Roland. I tried to forgive you, and I think I did because I know you’ve changed, but… I just can’t.” he shakes his head, tears collecting in his own eyes.

Regina swallows hard over the lump in her throat.

“I’m so, so sorry, Robin,” she says, sincerely.

The weight of killing Marian is still over her chest, crushing her heart every time she tucks Roland in or every time he whispers that he really misses him mom. She’s killed countless of people in her life, some of them were very important, (her dad, for instance) but she’s haunted by the face of a woman she doesn’t even remember killing.

“ **I don’t want to hear it anymore”** Robin dismisses her apology, looking straight into her eyes.

“Do you actually think that you are the only one who’s hurt here?” she cannot help but ask, anger all of a sudden boiling in her veins. “You hurt me too, Robin. You continue to tell me how much it hurt you that Zelena used to as if it didn’t hurt me at all, but it was you who agreed to do all of this, who decided to move on when you insisted you loved me. **You made a choice, so deal with it.”**

His eyes turn darker instantly, and the hurt that colors his face makes Regina’s heart clench. She doesn’t know why she’s said that. It’s obviously not true, he is a victim there, and he wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for Regina. He wouldn’t have to live with this pain he has now if Regina had never walked into his life.

Damn it.

**“It’s not your fault,** I’m sorry **”** she tells him quickly, her voice quiet. “I didn’t mean what I’ve said. I-“

But what’s done is done and now Robin is looking at her with hurt and anger in his eyes, and she knows that they’re really over. A simple apology will not heal their wounds, a small kiss will not wash away the tears that they shed because of one another, a night of passion will not make things right.

Sighing in desperation, Regina whispers the most stupid thing that comes into her mind, “I don’t want to lose you.”

**“I don’t want to lose you too,”** Robin replies, without missing a beat, his voice sincere.

There’s a ‘but’, though.

“But we both know that this is not going to work.” Regina says out loud what they both knew for a really long time now and Robin nods his head.

For a moment, they stay in silence, staring at each other, as if trying to memorize one another’s faces, as if it’s the last time they see each other. It’s not the last time, obviously - they will bump into each other in the street or at Granny’s if only Robin decides to stay in Storybrooke, and Regina is pretty sure that he will stay for no matter how hurt he is, he’ll not leave his little girl behind – but Regina’s heart is breaking in her chest anyways.

“Do you think it would have worked out for us?” Suddenly Robin asks quietly, making Regina look up from her hands. He inhales shakily and continues his question, “If Emma hasn’t brought Marian back, could we have had a happy ending?”

Regina shrugs her shoulder, “I don’t know. Maybe. Things were so good between us back then, it was… the best time of my life, Robin. You made me so happy and Henry was there with me, and… for a moment I thought that perhaps it is my happy ending.”

“But you were wrong.”

“I was.”

The conversation dies after that, because they simply don’t know what to say anymore.

They could yell at each other, they could fight, they could kiss and make love one last time but instead they sit in front of one another with tears rolling down their cheeks, hearts breaking in their chests until the dawn breaks.


	4. Day 3 (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation for 1st day's entry.  
> Prompts:  
> 1\. Give me a chance  
> 47\. Is that blood? 
> 
> Also, from now on, these two one -shots belong to the verse I wrote a few years ago, where Regina comes back from the Enchanted Forest pregnant. It is called, "Got a Secret, Can You Keep It?" and can be read on ffnet, my username is the same there! If you're interested and cannot find it, write to me and I'll send you a link (I'm not sure if it is acceptable to post links here). 
> 
> This one is written for soligblooma. Thank you so much for the wonderful idea that you've given me!! Also, for parrillasarrow who wanted it to be more than a one-shot!

After Robin storms out of the chambers and Regina finally manages to get up from the ground, she spends hours sitting on her bed and thinking about her life. As hard as it is to admit, Robin was the bright sunshine in her dark life during the year, despite the fact that he drove her mad with his pranks, he would show her his true self, his good and kind part when she needed it the most.

She cannot believe that she’s hurt the person she unconsciously cared about so much.

It was cruel to lie to him about the baby, she knew it from the moment she saw happiness in his eyes, but she didn’t find the courage in herself to tell him the truth back then. Perhaps things would be different between them now if she hasn’t lied for so long.

Perhaps they would’ve even laughed at it.

Wiping a single tear away from her cheeks, Regina feels nauseous. She tries to breathe though uneasiness in her stomach, tries to calm herself down but soon she realizes it is not going away and jumps from her bed, rushes to her washroom just in time to throw up.

As she finally sits down on the cold ground of her washroom with her stomach finally empty and calming down, she reminds herself that the last time she was so anxious that she had thrown up was when Henry brought Emma into town. She felt angry and afraid, and her life was ruined back then.

She wonders if after today her already ruined life will be ruined even more.

(…)

For the next few days Regina avoids people. She tries to stay in her chambers for as long as she can, because the last thing she needs right now is Snow White and her Charming finding out what Regina’s done to Robin and lecturing her about her poor sense of humor.

Also, it is much easier to reach the washroom when she stays inside because the sickness hasn’t disappeared.

However, tonight she needs to attend a council meeting and there’s no turning back. She’ll have to face not only her annoying step daughter, but the thief as well.

The thought makes Regina’s stomach turn again.

When she finishes her potion from nausea, Regina looks at the mirror one more time and leaves her chambers. She makes her way to the council room quickly, and when she reaches the doorway of it, she notices Robin sitting there alone.

Damn it!

She curses under her breath for always being punctual. It is going to be awkward to be with him alone, but perhaps she could try to apologize again and talk to him. A week has already passed since she’s told him the truth, and Robin has had enough time to deal with his emotions, perhaps he would be willing to forgive her.

However, another part of her tells her to run away from here, come a few minutes later when others will be here as well.

But Regina Mills is not a coward, she doesn’t run from people so she inhales deeply and finally makes her way into the chamber.

“Hello,” she says, trying to make her voice sound polite instead of anxious.

Robin doesn’t return the greeting, he doesn’t even turn to look at her, but Regina doesn’t miss the way his whole body tenses when her voice echoes in the room. She wonders if he hates her enough to physically hurt her.

Probably.

Swallowing hard over the unexpected lump in her throat, she sits down on the chair beside him. She wishes she could be far away from him, but Snow White would definitely see that Regina’s changed her place and would start asking her annoying questions, so Regina chooses to suffer sitting next to Robin.

To her surprise, he ignores her presence. It makes Regina sigh and close her eyes – he really hates her.

Thankfully, they are not alone for long. Moments later Granny Lucas walks into the room, followed by Belle and Leroy and soon Snow White and Prince Charming join them. The meeting starts, and they discuss Zelena’s new threats and Snow White tells her plan how to defeat Zelena.

Regina tries to listen to people around her, she really does, but her mind is clouded. All of a sudden she feels dizzy again and that nausea feeing is back in her stomach. She drank the potion before leaving so she shouldn’t be sick but her mouth is getting drier, sweat collecting over her brow. It seems the potion is not working.

Closing her eyes, she forces herself to inhale, count to ten and exhale, repeats it again and again, counting slowly. Her palms turn into fists as the sick feeling becomes stronger, and she doesn’t think that she’ll be able to reach her chambers in time but there’s no way she’s going to throw up in front of these idiots.

Ignoring Charming’s questions if she’s alright, Regina quickly stands up and turns around to make her way out of the council room, but everything around her starts spinning and she doesn’t understand what people are telling her.

She tries to grip the back of the chair for support, but she misses it and falls down to the ground, and everything turns black.

 (…)

When Regina opens her eyes, she finds dark unknown eyes staring at her carefully. She opens her mouth to question who that person is, her palm opening to form a fireball in case she needs to protect herself, but then she feels a dull pain at the back of her head that reminds her how she lost consciousness at the council room.

“Good afternoon, your Majesty,” the middle- aged man greets, smiling sweetly at her, though there’s something in his eyes that tells Regina that this smile is a forced one.

She furrows her brow in confusion, wondering who he is.

As if he could read minds, the man tells her, “I’m the healer of Enchanted Forest.” It makes Regina sigh in relief – at least she’s not kidnapped or something,-  but she doesn’t let her guard down, keeps her palm opened for it’s the first time she sees this peasant, and she’s aware that half the village still wants her dead.

“And, what’s the diagnosis?” she asks uninterested. She expects him to tell her that she’s exhausted and that she needs to rest as much as possible, drink water and eat healthy.

“You’re pregnant, your Majesty,” the healer says in a cheerful voice and Regina chokes on her own saliva.

For a moment she just stares at him in surprise. Then, however, she recovers and lets out a humorless laugh, shaking her head in disbelief, “Nice joke, doctor. I’m cursed, I cannot get pregnant.”

The man’s expression changes into a worried one as he nods his head. It makes Regina furrow her brown even more as she stares at him in confusion.

“That explains why you’re feeling this bad. This pregnancy was not supposed to happen, so it’s draining all of your energy,” the healer tells her and Regina rolls her eyes at him for the stupid explanation.

There’s no way on Earth (or wherever) that she’s pregnant. The only idea that comes into her mind is that Robin cursed her to have pregnancy signs to torture her in return. It would be a very good revenge.

“I’m not pregnant,” Regina insists, sitting up a bit. She’s a bit depressed and heartbroken, she hasn’t been taking care of herself lately (for months, actually) so there’s no surprise that she’s weak. But she’s not pregnant, no way.

“I tell you what I see,” the doctor says, “You can choose to not believe me but after a few months, when the baby comes screaming into this world, don’t be surprised.” He then stands up, tells her to rest and walks out of her chambers.

Confused, Regina lies in her bed. She thinks about his words, and unconsciously her hand comes to rest on her lower belly.

She is feeling sick, and she’s been emotional – but she’s done pretty bad things to good people recently, she has all the right to be emotional – and it was harder to get into some of her dresses, but she thought that she’s gained weight.

Shit.

The doctor is right.

She could be pregnant. She and Robin spent that night in the woods together, and they used nothing to prevent pregnancy which wasn’t even supposed to happen in the first place.

Taking a deep breath, Regina waves her shaking hand up in the air and when the cloud of purple smoke fades away, there’s a pregnancy test in her hand. Groaning, she gets up from the bed – her head is throbbing, she’s probably hit it pretty hard when she fell down – and makes her way to the washroom, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

It doesn’t take five minutes and Regina finds herself staring at the positive pregnancy test in her hands with her mouth opened in shock, and tears of surprise, happiness and fear falling down her cheeks.

(…)

It takes her two days to finally find the courage to tell about the pregnancy to Robin.

 She doesn’t believe he will listen to her but she has to try. He’s the father, after all.

Feeling anxious, Regina makes her way into the kitchen. Robin likes to eat alone early in the morning, it’s like his own tradition, and it seems it hasn’t changed because Regina finds him at the table alone.

As soon as she walks in, he narrows his eyes and puts the apple turnovers back on the table, chewing the piece in his mouth as if it was a poison. It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to see her, and Regina understands his reasons; if someone did something like what she had done to him, she would hate that person too.

She takes in a deep breath and makes her way to the table on shaky legs, sits in front of him.

Robin’s lips are pressed into a thin line as he watches her, and when he finally moves to stand up and leave, Regina grabs his hand to stop him.

“We need to talk,” she tells him in a quiet, unsure voice that’s so out of character. She’s guilty in front of him, and she’ll let her pride and guard down, let him see her humble.

“I don’t want to hear anything for you, your Majesty,” Shaking her hand off of his Robin states, making her title sound as it was a curse word.

Regina swallows hard.

She deserved it.

“Please, listen to me. **Give me a chance** ,” she asks, staring right into his eyes. She sees hatred there but she tried not to dwell on that, doesn’t let it affect her. Instead, she inhales shakily and states, “I’m pregnant.”

The laugh that leaves Robin’s mouth is loud and humorless, threatening even, and he narrows his eyes at her, his face turning into a grimace of disgust. Regina feels the urge to look away but she forces herself not to.

“You’re such a bitch, Regina,” Robin finally says, his voice making the hairs on her body stand on their ends. “You thought you fooled me once, so you can do it again? No, Your Majesty. I’ll never trust you again. And why the hell would you choose the same lie? I’m not as stupid as you think, Regina.”

“Robin, I’m serious,” she tries not to take his words to heart but it still stings. “I’m really pregnant, I’m not lying. The doctor confirmed it two days ago. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t understand it, but I’m pregnant.”

He’s looking at her with hatred in his eyes and she sees how his hands turn into fists, his muscles tensing as he tries to keep himself from shouting on her.

For a few long moments, Regina stares at him but then she shakes her head and stands up. She’s not some weak woman who needs a man in her life. She can raise the baby alone if Robin doesn’t want to be in their lives.

“I thought you should know, that’s all,” she finally says, and her voice is not polite anymore. It is strong and confident. “Goodbye, Robin.”

As she leaves the room, she hears him muttering, “I hope you burn in hell.”

(…)

Regina spends the whole month locked away in her chambers. She is sick every few hours, throws up everything she eats, and her legs are swollen and achy most of the days.

She’s found a book about pregnancies after infertility potions, and finds out that it is an uncommon thing to get pregnancy after that. The book says that only true love is strong enough to break it (sometimes) and Regina wants to laugh because there was no love between her and Robin that night, she hated him and he desired her, they had fun but there was no love.

But they’re soulmates, after all, maybe this was enough to break her curse.

By reading that book she also finds out that her body is most likely fighting the baby in her womb as an intruder. The sources said that only two of ten babies were carried to full term, and Regina hopes and prays to all the Gods that would be above that her baby would live.

As much as this baby was a surprise, she finds that she doesn’t want to lose it. So she tries to eat regularly, take walks in fresh air, avoid stress (which is impossible with Zelena’s threat and Robin’s piercing gaze) and just relax as much as she can.

However, one day she wakes up in a poll of blood, her nightgown drenched in it, her abdomen aching and she has no other choice than to call for help. Snow White seems shaken , “ **Is that blood** , Regina?” the younger woman screams when Regina asks for the healer and insists more to herself than to the princess that she’s not losing this baby!

The healer comes after fifteen minutes but for Regina it feels like forever as she anxiously lies on her bed, rubbing her hand against her aching belly.

“This pregnancy is going to be a hard one,” the healer states after examination, and Regina rolls her eyes – as if she didn’t know. “But the bleeding is stopped and I think you’ll be able to carry the baby until it is ready,” This time, Regina sighs in relief. “But you’re at huge risk now. So for the next few weeks, no stress,” he tells her seriously, and Regina can still feel that the man hates her but it seems like he wants to save the baby. “You’re on bed rest. You’ll need some herbal tea a few times a day, and lots of rest. I’ll come to see you tomorrow, your Majesty,” the healer says and bows before walking out of the chamber.

Once the door is closed behind the man, Regina pulls the covers over herself and curls into a ball underneath it. She finds herself at the brink of a breakdown again.

In the last year, she’s lost her son and her home, she was thrown into this realm she hates, she was forced to live in the castle where decades ago her life was turned into a misery, but during this year she also met her soulmate here, and hurt him so much, she doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive. And in this whole mess, a miracle happened, the one good thing among the bad ones and it seems that even this miracle might be taken away from her.

A quiet knock on the door snaps Regina out of her thoughts and she quickly wipes away the tears from her cheeks and calls for someone (she’s pretty sure it is Snow White) to come in.

The door is opened immediately and instead of Snow White, Robin walks in. He does so slowly, gingerly even as if he’s unsure if he’s made the right decision to come here.

Regina’s eyes widen in surprise at the sight of him, and she tugs the sheet tighter around herself, not sure of what he’s doing here.

Robin stops in front of her bed and clears her throat. He stares at her for a moment, gauging her demeanor and then he finally says,” I overheard Snow talking with Granny that you needed a healer again. The princess said you are pregnant.”

Regina swallows hard and nods her head.

“Is it mine?” he asks before she has a chance to say something, and Regina takes no offence in the question, she just nods her head again. “Is it real?” Robin asks then, his voice shaking just a little bit, “Or is it just another cruel prank of yours?”

“Give me your hand.”

Robin’s brow furrows in confusion but he takes a few steps closer and gives her his hand as she requested it. Regina lifts the sheet and places his warm hand on top of the small bump. It is still invisible when she walks in a dress but now when she’s a thin nightgown, the curve is standing proudly there.

Robin lets out a sound of surprise when he moves his hand over her stomach. He seems so happy, his eyes shining with unshed tears – not as happy as he was about the fake pregnancy, he’s not spinning her around, and not telling her about his love, but it’s better than hatred -  and Regina sighs. Even though he hates her, he would never hate their child, she knew that.

“I’m still mad at you,” Robin states and sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand staying on top of her stomach. “But you’re actually carrying my child, and… We have to find a way to put our differences aside for him.”

“I agree.”

“Okay,” he nods his head. “We’ll make it work for the sake of baby.”

“Yes,” she says and swallows hard, looking straight into his eyes, “Robin, I’m so sorry I hurt you like that, I-“

“No, Regina,” Robin shakes his head and gets up from her bed, all of a sudden his tranquil aura disappearing. “You’ve done something  to hurt me, and you succeeded. I’m thrilled that we’re having a child for real now but it changes nothing between us. I still hate you.” He spats and turns around, storms out of the chambers.

Swallowing hard over the lump in her throat, she rolls onto her side and tugs the sheets over her even more. As her eyes close, she forces all of the bad thoughts away and tries to focus on her unsure future where she has a baby with her soulmate, the soulmate who hates her.

The last thought in her mind that night is that she’s a villain, and villains don’t get happy ending.

 


End file.
